if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
