The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We need a shit load of segways right now
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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