im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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