Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
