take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
