Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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