I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
