I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sorry about my life...
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