While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
