No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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