Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
