I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
