Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize