You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
