i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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