she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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