You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
