my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
