i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
