Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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