Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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