let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
