okay pat passed out under dana's car
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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