i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
