On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
