people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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