Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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