last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
