You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
