Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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