none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize