nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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