69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
