At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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