My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
