well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
