escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
