I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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