I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
