I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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