Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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