I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
