my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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