Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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