Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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