so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize