Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This baby is an asshole
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
