i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
