WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
