physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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