Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
