she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
