you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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