hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
