Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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