I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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