Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I understand Curling. That high.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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