Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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