you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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