Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize