His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
